Ximmylink set to release January 14, 2026

Engineers at Microsoft and OpenAI are currently working on a project codenamed as "Sleeping Grandparents". Microsoft has released new information regarding
Sleeping Grandparents this weekend at a press conference regarding the future of George Droyd and the potential revival of other deceased swarthy individuals.

Cherry Grove, OHIO
The iRich Ximmylink v14.88 is currently undergoing testing and new features are tested and potentially added monthly. This month, we have designed a system that links the Ximmylink to a Steam groupchat that opens upon touching yourself to loli porn and femboys. We have named this system the Fully Automatic Gooning System (FAGS). In March, we created a comedically large mechanical right arm that holds a liquid tank designed specially for underage femboy semen. The liquid tank can dispense the semen in any way it pleases, but do beware that you will have to source the semen yourself, as the last goonsesh didn't result in anything coming out.

What are your thoughts on such developments? Would you consider meeting the new one-of-a-kind iRich Ximmylink cyborg?

 

[jimbo]

Is it big, soft and supple? If so then take my money.

 

[condolana]

Will it be available in Brazil?

 

[Jackson]

how will it react around middle schoolers?

 

[niggatesticles36]

Will it be available in Brazil?

This product will launch in Cincinnati and Brazil as well as being sold at the Steam Headquarters in Bellevue, Washington. The prototype is currently being designed and it is rumored that the May update for the Ximmylink is a direct connection to the ROBLOX platform to groom vulnerable children automatically without any effort. In a leaked audio clip, Mike McGoldrick, director of engineering at Microsoft says the following;

The ROBLOX platform has many groups and experiences in which Alex has taken a fine interest in. Do you think you could write a program that finds groups with names such as “BBC Group” or “Snowbunnies”? Perhaps other groups such as “Spades”? Make sure that Alex joins these groups upon making a ROBLOX account and posts messages asking little girls to add him.

how will it react around middle schoolers?

Good question. Rumors at OpenAI have circulated that whenever anybody under the age of 13 is located and seen by the iRich android, it will spray approximately half an ounce of femboy semen at speeds of 12 mph aimed directly at the target.

 

[Z Based_Russian_Tsarist Z]

How will it react to dutch women?