> log

May 12th, 2025: Two of my finals today. I woke up and had cereal for breakfast and also sent James the Greater a happy 21st birthday wish. I finished the cover for my art book project and put it under that old 1930s book I got to have the glue actually stick. I then went over to the bank and got 10 dollars in quarters for my laundry machine, I put a bunch of my laundry in the washer and then started studying for 30 minutes until my alarm went off so I moved it over to the dryer for 1 hour and 4 minutes. I managed to complete 3 pages once my laundry was done, but I numbered them as 1a, 1b, 2a, 2b instead of 1, 2, 3, 4 because I was thinking about the Talmud at the time. I went downstairs to grab my laundry out of the dryer and it was still wet and steaming/smoking, I wasn't happy with that at and put a bunch of my clothes on my bed to "dry" out. I then went into the building where my final was being held and continued studying there. I decided to change my password to be a 6 digit number to alphanumeric to help myself concentrate more and cranked out two more pages of study notes, with 3a and 3b. I ended up heading into the room and sat near Padma, and her two friends. The test started and I was actually kinda confident on this as compared to the last one. I ended up leaving 50 minutes into the 2 hour exam, with the extra time at home I worked on finalizing my German presentation, I recorded it one time but the audio wasn't good enough, so I walked over to my Art "final" (just talking about our art pieces.) and got situated there. The oldest guy in the class had the most impressive art piece:
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And we did the presentations finally, the oldest guy said that he worked as a general contractor and that this art class helped him learn how to do his job better. Some other ones were Pinky’s amazing painting and Keleche’s ok one. This chuddy looking kid who was never attending class finally showed up to class for the final and the teacher told him to talk outside for a minute. Ginger girl’s friend revealed to me that he would try to draw her in their English class (that he didn’t show up for mostly) and gave the drawings to her, she said she wouldn’t date him even if she was single. Another incident was when she was stockpiling on salt packets to salt her pasta water and he said something about her amount of salt, I didn’t find it weird. But Ginger girl’s presentation was on feminism. On the main side, there was a bunch of suggestive cropped images of her body, not any nudity, which made me super comfortable regardless of political intent. The other side was much less inappropriate images of her as a normal human being. At the discussion the oldest guy said to the others:
“This art piece is making me feel uncomfortable to be a man.”
I immediately snapped back:
“Don’t be.”
There was some more discussion about feminism when the teacher said that she rolled her eyes when they announced a march for men, I noticed she had no ring on her finger and chuckled a bit. The part that enraged me the most is when Ginger girl said shit like:
“One thing that isn’t discuses as much is how men are harmed by the patriarchy too!”
I rolled my eyes because I knew that it was just code word for:
“Tell me you problems so I will then view you as lesser for having problems and then complain about you making me do ‘emotional labor’ without a hint of self awareness!”
Bell Hooks talks about this phenomenon thankfully but it’s clear she doesn’t understand. Hoxha presents his which I like. After class I asked Ginger girl’s friend if she did the pasta water in the sauce thing and she said yes because she’s Italian, I then asked her if she got mad when people break spaghetti in half and she said absolutely, she knew where I worked when I described it but she didn’t ever meet the original owner. I then went home and worked on my final presentation for German class, I ended up watching Khadija’s brother’s video and it turns out he has a wife whose 20 (same age as him) and is from Germany. I was jealous he could fijd someone so early. I got Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner with this Indian dude at the cashier who was clearly here on an education vista and was kind of slow, I got this Spicy Asian sauce (I know it had Asian in the name) for my 10 piece boneless meal along with the fries and it cost me nearly $20 dollars, I fucking hate this retarded inflation shit. I got back home and ate the boneless wings and then saved the fries as leftovers. I then took a shower and went to sleep.

Song of the Day: What is Love - Deee-Lite (1990)
 
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May 13th, 2025: Not so good of a day today. I woke up and had some cereal and coffee to start off my day and I just gamed for a little bit, I decided to ride this bus all the way to its end and back and decided to tell a Vannie and Cara that I was doing so, Vannie's response was:
<why would you ride the bus for fun?
<Cara says the busses are so unreliable
I told her:
>Because it's fun
She replied:
<Why is it fun?
She didn't understand... I hopped on the bus and rode it an hour all the way out while reading my Huey Long book. I got off once it was done, I walked over to the McDonalds and ordered a meal for lunch. It was expensive but ok. I then took a bit of a walk to this church nearby but it was actually pretty ugly, must have been one of those newer built churches. I couldn't get in so I just walked back over. I took a picture of my location on Google maps and sent it to fAsherah and her friend that drove me once. fAsherah just replied with:
<🫵:000
And her friend had this conversation:
<???
>3 phones in one year...
<what
>It's Gemerson.
<i know, why did you send me that
>Taunting you for your disdain of exploration
>(It was boring)
I then waited for the bus back and hopped on it, because I brought my Roman Catholic Handbook of Prayers, I started reading that from cover to cover until I got home, I noticed that the place where Punk invited me to was offering food, I got in and this was the first ever time that I saw Punk at the event, I didn't say hi to them but to the group in general, I grabbed a pretzel, some strawberries, and a banana, and then left while giving a salute, I didn't see Punk salute because I left as fast as possible due to not being welcome there. On my walk back home I saw Sabrina and said hi. I worked on my blog entry for the day and then took the bus over to my therapy place. I got there a bit early and then started my session at 4:00pm. I didn't talk about Asherah and focused more on my friends and what I have done so far. She said she was glad with me and the session ended at 4:30pm. I walked all the way over to the Catholic center and then got there at 5:00pm. I talked with Mercurius, Seraphim, the Honduran, and Markus about some stuff. The engaged girl started talking about the Nation of Islam and Black Hebrew Israelites and how to debate them (Solution: ask them to read the full chapter.) This woman that organized things asked our group if I wanted to read, I volunteered and then got instructed. I read over the readings twice over and then I got seated at mass. I sat next to Elizabeth and Sideburn's cousin and I didn't mess up the readings! Dinner was nachos, I sat outside with Henry, his girlfriend, Markus, the Honduran, Markus's 'brother', and Mahdi, we joked around about how the Honduran would have gone psycho if he was at the event with the Non-Denominationals. Henry's girlfriend left at one point for a while so I made a joke about how Markus had gotten a promotion to Henry's main piece. I told it to her and she said to the others:
"Guys, Gemerson just told me that Markus took my spot!"
Everybody laughed at that. I Henry asked if anybody was staying in the city over the summer and I said yes, I asked why and he said:
"Just finding out places to avoid!"
A bit later Henry's girlfriend started handing out these blessed crosses that she made for her friends, she gave one to each of her friends and obviously I was not included in the gifts, I didn't consider her a friend but it just felt like she was trying to humiliate me. I just stayed quiet for a while but then the Honduran pointed out that I didn't get one mockingly I just flipped him off, Henry told me something and then I flipped him off. He then said:
"That's not enough fingers."
So I made a cross with my two middle fingers pointed towards him, his girlfriend got angry and told me:
"Look, they have been my friends for longer, like over a year, Mahdi was the first person to welcome me to the center."
I remained silent because I was still mad at her for her jabs at me. Eventually Sideburn's crush announced that they were having rootbeer floats so I got one served by Gabriel. We did a celebration of Gabriel's service afterwards and Luigi said some positive stuff about him. We then got droven over to this rich person's house and we went there, we walked down this stairway and made it to this beach with a lot of driftwood on it, the priest, Benjamin, and Seraphim started a fire while I was the second one to go out into the cold water, I made it all the way to this rock while having to be super careful with my step. I was the only one to sit on it after a while. Hannah ended up taking a video of her and her friend running out with me on the rock in the background.
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I sat there while some other people went in after a while until I had to carefully walk back to shore, I took off my Hawai'ian shirt and my tshirt underneath it, but it was tasteful shirtlessness, I was wearing black dress pants and a belt. I stood around the fire trying to get warm, I chatted with Elizabeth about ways to eat marshmallows and she ended up giving me an entire bar of chocolate. Seraphim talks to me about when we went to Whitewater with some other people:
“Dude, Gemerson was so funny because he pissed off this one girl that was being super annoying to the entire group during volleyball.”
I replied:
“Wait what, I didn’t not remember this at all!”
He replied:
“She was the blond girl with dyed hair.”
I was still confused, after some back and forth elaboration, I still didn’t remember a thing. I went to go to take a leak and Luigi with some others started following me because I didn't tell anybody where I was going. We eventually left and I had to wait on Gabriel because he was driving us back. He then dropped off Elizabeth, she said that she wanted to hang out with Gabriel over the summer. I got driven home by Gabriel but almost forgot to give the blanket back, I went inside and immediately washed off my pants in the shower before taking an actual shower. I then went to sleep.

Song of the Day: Arise, Ye Russian People - Sergei Prokofiev (1938)
 
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May 14th, 2025: My final final today! I woke up at 8:00am and started working on studying for it for a long time, I did pretty well all things considered but I ended up getting distracted a few times but I got back on task, eventually I went out to get a can of Monster Energy to drink before the exam, I kept getting distracted even more but I drank my energy drink and then got into the exam, I had to go to the bathroom before hand and then went back. The exam was divided into four parts, the first was multiple choice, the second we had to write two possible outputs for a program, the third one was like number two but more in depth, and the fourth one revolved around writing a function which would create a parent process and a child process, the parent process would open the file (any file technically but we were only taught how to do .txt files) and send it to the child process by a pipe, the child process would read it and then terminate itself. Most of the final exam was spent on the 4th question but I still managed to complete it in an hour. After I got that done I left and went home to work on my blog entry for the day. I played a good amount of Terraria before finishing up my blog entry. I talked to a friend of mine about the Eucharistic Adoration event and she made the excuse of not having any clean shirts or appropriate dresses, I wasn’t having it at all but she said that she could come to the next one. I asked the priest of the Catholic center if they had the dinner event tonight and he said no, but I wasn’t convinced so I got dressed up all fancy (suit with no tie) and then took the bus, when I got outside the bus was immediately there and I got on and rode it to my stop.
AD_4nXf-4-JDwvB1hMkwCj0wnN54Q8jwNATEumUB7vkjxfjwJ2mgoUUODh2R8pQId3zRlD8jJLmel2gr4ApJKKyubzzG4hxlJbp2HHD3ZSJYeQouVvJ4y5CsrbH3KLUhhVC6UtxpwQpeVg

I got over to the place and saw that Father Malachi was in the place where we usually ate dinner. Benjamin said that he wanted to go to the Eucharistic adoration with him, his sister, and her fiancé. I said hi to Malachi and then sat with this guy from last Tuesday’s mass who was a missionary. I ate a good amount and asked him if he had converted any people and he said:
“I’ve planted a lot of mustard seeds!”
And we both laughed. Near the end, Malachi asked if anybody could acolyte and I didn’t volunteer because I have been excommunicated from acolyting. At 6:45pm I went in for Eucharistic adoration and I ended up seeing Naomi and Hannah, I waved to them both but only Naomi waved back, which made me feel kind of sad. I got in line for confessions and the shortest line was a face to face confession with my confirmation priest. This woman in front of me in line for confession gave me a weird death stare, her husband was behind me so I asked him:
“Do you want to go ahead of me?”
He replied:
“No thank you!”
I brought my journal and read my book for things to confess to for my confession which included:
*Blasphemed God
*Took communion in a state of mortal sin
*Held envy in my heart a lot
*Lashed out in anger a lot
*Treated others selfishly
*Used mobile phone excessively
*Spent too much time on the internet
*Failed to honor the Lord while acolyting at mass.
I finally got into confession and it was actually super short. I was told my penance was to pray about what God wanted me to do, so I just prayed alone. Sideburn’s cousin didn’t look happy with me and because I sat alone I just felt sad. When mass started up I went outside and took a decently long walk while it was foggy out, I got back in after 10 minutes and even before the first reading. I didn’t feel good still so I just went to the bathroom and then back in. The homily included the phrase:
“Almost as bad as that guy you meet at the [name of event] social that says: ‘I like you’ after one date!”
Which made a lot of laughter but just confirmed my fears for socializing. I just put my head down and started a soft, silent cry, I got it together a bit later and then went up to receive communion. Mass was finished and then I went to the social afterwards. Nobody really bothered to talk to me except for Sideburns, I commented on the fact that we had the same outfit on and had similar necklaces, I asked him what his necklace was and it was a double sided one of Saint Peter and Saint Paul, as compared to mine which was a single-sided image of the Holy Spirit descending on the Church at Pentecost. I ended up seeing his sister and their mom. The other priest from the Thursday Eucharistic adoration was there. I gave Gabriel a hug and talked to him for a bit, Hannah said hi to me but I just ignored her. I talked with Elizabeth and got invited to a groupchat for Catholics in the area. I did say hi to Sideburn’s cousin but I saw Naomi and a friend of hers on the outskirts, it looked like Naomi was comforting her friend because she was sad, I forgot why I went over there but I said:
“I’m assuming I shouldn’t intrude on this moment? It looks like she’s crying.”
Naomi replied with a fake laugh:
“Oh no no no, she’s not crying.”
I noticed the laugh and just left early because it was clear to me that I wasn’t welcome so I just started walking home in the fog. I had made Naomi hate me for the crime of asking to sit next to her at mass and fucking up during that one Friday mass. I stopped to buy beer along the way and then drank some of that when I got home, I took a shower and then went to sleep.

Song of the Day: Anima Christi (Pane di vita nuova) - Marco Frisina (2000)
 
May 15th, 2025: Work today, I was supposed to get my leather jacket back today when I got a snap from the seamstress saying:
<so, I thought I was gonna have time for ur project but my finals have been taking up literally all of my time. I’ve been working on stuff all day and I’m not even fully caught up yet. I’ve tried to set aside time but unfortunatrly my schoolwork
<comes first. I have an exam from 8:30-10:30a tmrw but if you can be on campus when I’m done I can get it back to you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to help out.
<I move out officially at 3:30p
I told her I would leave some money under the box of rice krispies cereal box and told her friend to pick up the appropriate money, which consisted of a $20 and 2 $5 bills. I then got dressed and hopped on the bus to work. When I got in, I saw John, Jesse, Will, and this third old guy Max, working on a delivery. I sat around and then clocked in when the time came. I started off with checking some stuff in before I was told by Jesse to head upstairs and put away a load in the kitchen dry storage. While I was doing that, there was this bag of penne rigatta that had burst open, with most of it spilling in the box, so I grabbed one handful and ate it before grabbing a second handful and putting it in my pocket for later, I told Jesse about it and he helped me clean up. I finished that up and then went over to help John put away a load. I then went downstairs to start on the beverages when I saw some milk had expired, I brought 3 items of oat milk to the back and marked them off when Max said:
“Hey let me try one of those?”
I gave one to him and he immediately started to drink it before dumping the rest out.
“Ugh tastes disgusting!”
I pointed out:
“Well it was expired.”
He replied:
“I don’t think it would have tasted better fresh.”
I laughed and went back to work. I had Calabrian gnocchi for lunch and my cashier was none other than the BPD princess herself, who I will be calling Tiffany. She seemed pretty cold towards me. I got a free Galvanina in the back for lunch and said hi to Ignacio. I got back to work and chatted with Biker for a bit. Because I got done with all my tasks for the day, I asked Jesse if I could powerwash in the back and he said yes, I had a lot of fun with that. Eventually near the end of the day, John said that he had did some facing for me so I wouldn’t have it as bad when I did a good portion of tasks alone. I went on break and talked with fAsherah a bit and also said hi to Bill. I started on my closing tasks a half hour early and at one point I grabbed the last free Galvanina and offered it to one of the two cashiers on shift. Tiffany took it and thanked me. until I noticed that Tiffany was outside doing a task just before the heavy rain and I went out to help her. She thanked me and then she got mad at customers not reading this sign. A bit later on in the shift it was raining heavily and she went out and danced in the rain a bit and I told her to get back inside, she got back in laughing and slipped. I had to help her up and then finish up for the day and head to the bus stop, it was absolutely downpouring during the thunderstorm. I got on the bus back home and I noticed that a coworker of mine, who I will be calling Jab, and that one Brazilian girl’s friend were on the bus, I thought they knew each other but they didn’t. I eventually got home and saw that the cereal box and the money were gone. I asked Enosh if he knew where they were and he said he didn’t see the money under it. My pseudoleather jacket was on the couch and I then had dinner, took a shower, and went to sleep.

Song of the Day: Tonight, Tonight - The Smashing Pumpkins (1995)
 
May 16th, 2025: Another day of work today. I woke up at 8:00am and went down to the store because I was out of cereal. I got a box of Lucky Charms and had that for breakfast, I gamed a bit and then hopped on the bus down to work. I immediately checked in with Jesse and John. My task list for the day sadly was to work on all the shitty tasks, like sweeping the dumpster area, stocking the jars, a general pull, and doing the freezer stocking. I got some of those done before my first break where I had a small pizza for $6 and some Maui onion chips. I sent a text to Rose about the chips at lunch and she replied with:
<Maui!
I had my lunch and ate everything that I had, but I still didn’t feel full. A bit later Ignacio said hi to me and I finally realized that even though he’s from Venezuela, he speaks like a friendly Arab. Talked with Will and Bill for a bit. Later, Sabrina tells me to come up front and go outside because these teenagers were throwing glass bottles at the window and only one of them hit. I went outside and didn’t find anything, on my way back in I heard Tony talking to this other employee in Spanish. I saw Biker wearing his infamous hat. While I was sweeping the dumpster outside it started raining hard. I went on my final break of the day and talked with fAsherah and she said that the other cashiers were planning on staging an intervention for Tiffany’s drinking habits, I started laughing so hard at that. I finished all my tasks with time to spare and then waited around before clocking out. When I was walking out I heard Tony talk with Jab about Lynyrd Skynyrd. When I got home I noticed Enosh’s mess in the kitchen from him making biscuits, utensils and bowls in the sink, flour on the counter, and the baking tray on the oven with the paper still on it, I had to clean some of it because he clearly couldn’t be bothered to learn how to be a functioning human being. The Texan had unadded me on Snapchat so I asked her why she did that and she said that she had finally found a boyfriend and that it would be weird to still be friends with me. I finished up my blog entry for the day and watched some YouTube videos for fun before taking a shower and heading to sleep.

Song of the Day: Am I Losin’ - Lynyrd Skynyrd (1975)
 
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